Monday, March 23, 2009

Most Awesomest: Guns N' Roses

It’s been a long time since “Mr. Brownstone” rocked our fucking faces off, but the recent release of “Chinese Democracy” allows what is left of Axl Rose’s assembled group of Spinal Tap impersonators to be included on this list.  The real reason for inclusion obviously – OBVIOUSLY – has nothing to do with the fact that anyone we know even likes these guys.  It has all to do with the fact that “Chinese Democracy” took fifteen fucking years and over $13 million to record, mix and release.  The making of this record has been documented ad nauseam, but it’s worth revisiting.  

Axl (who is starting to look like a white trash version of Mario Batalli) and the boys made lots of outlandish and laughable requests of their record company masters, but the coup de grace has to be the fact that Buckethead, the prog-metal prodigy that wears a KFC bucket on his head (BUCKETHEAD -- get it?), claimed that he would not play his horrific solos unless the record company constructed a CHICKEN COUP in the studio.  

We still don’t know if all of these requests stemmed from Axl and Co being delusional, out of touch metal heads with a bizarre senses of entitlement, or whether it was one big joke to see how far they could push before the record company snapped.  Whatever the case, a chicken coup was erected and this album did finally get released, which means that, despite the fact that it sounds like a horrendous rip off of Korn (which is in itself some of the worst shit we have ever heard), Axl won.  Dr. Pepper drinkers won as well.  That Axl is proud of the final product (i.e. a gigantic piece of rat dung wrapped in plastic) makes him completely awesome in our book.  

No comments: