Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Review: M. Ward, 'Hold Time'

... or 'How I Know Certain Websites Dedicated to Music Have Trouble Walking Because Their Heads Are Up Their Own Ass'. 

Case in point: Pitchfork, a site I frequent frequently, and which I express respect for. Anyway, they get it wrong a lot, probably because assigning different reviewers with vastly different tastes to write about new music produces skewed results. They clearly make the mistake of giving albums like 'Hold Time' over to the guy who really enjoys things like recordings of whale-fucking mixed over the sounds of some guy's cat being humped by the neighbors dog called 'Juxtaposition'. This guy probably sidelines for NPR and hates things like cohesive song-writing, actual people playing real instruments and lyrics that make sense. Or just actual lyrics.

They gave 'Hold Time' a 6.8, like some bitter freedom-hating Russian judge ball-slapping one of our Olympians during the Cold War, and we all know it's a farce, and Dad is swearing at the TV and Mom is calling her friends to bitch about it, and the announcers are holding their heads and wailing, and the injustice of it is too much to handle, and the people in the stands are baying for blood and threatening to burn the Stade Olympicano in some shithole country to the ground. 

Sorry about that last paragraph. I tend to lose myself. 

Moving along, Matt Ward seems to have become the antithesis of everything horrible in the music world. What a backwards compliment, but it's true. With so much douchey art school mush out there being put out by tuneless assholes stuck in a state of permanent musical jerk-off (Animal Collective, what's up?!), it's nice to put something on that sounds like ... something. 

Said something is MUSIC, i.e. guitars and drums and actual people. A full NINE of the thirteen songs on this album are 4 stars, and that is all you need to know. This album is a respite from all the releases that are soul-less and boring right now, which is almost everything. The world is in a temporary State of Suck. 

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