Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Most Awesomest: Kings of Leon

Those Kings of Leon shaw are perty.  You seen their hair stylists?  Are they fucking wearing eye liner?  Why did this happen?  How did this happen?  PLEASE tell us who we can blame for this atrocity so we can dump nail polish remover over their head and set them alight.  The problem is not that they are handsome devils; it’s that, unlike other handsome fellas (Evan Dando, us) they seem to care a lot about being handsome devils to the point of looking like busted-up-then-hastily-put-back-together pretty girls.  Bret Michaels perfected this look in the 80s and ended up looking like a broke-ass version of Farah Fawcett.  

When I see current pictures of The Kings, I think of Jennifer Aniston with a beard.  It’s enough that I just wrote a paragraph about this.  Are conspiracy theories about their boy band origins starting to be confirmed by their carefully manicured photo shoots?  Are we supposed to care whether they are or are not the sons of nomadic bible-thumping parents?   Too much to consider.  Can you just stop blow drying your hair, fellas?  Can you ease up on the frizz-ease?  Thanks.

Bottom line:  this is the band that wrote “Fans” and “Slow Night, So Long” and about 10 or 20 other awesome songs.  They have made four stellar records, each bringing them to another awesome place within rock n roll and the 1-2-3-4 ball punch of “Crawl”, “Sex on Fire”, “Use Somebody” and “Manhattan” on the new album, “Only By The Night”, is pretty freakin great.  We’re still not really sure how they sold out Madison Square Garden, but, then again, it’s better than watching the Knicks fans cheer while Kobe ices them for 61 points.  


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