Thursday, April 30, 2009

Smell This: Brandon Flowers

On the Epic Scale of Total Douchebaggery, we present Brandon Flowers of The Killers. Check this out. This clown wears makeup and ponces around as if he is important or relevant or even good. He is none of those things. Following in the awesome footsteps of pretending pretentious prissy pricks (yeah!) like Terence Trent D'Arby (that apostrophe makes kitten think of murder all day), bragging about how he is better than legends, this forgettable midget outs his own irrelevance better than anyone else ever could.

The idea of this has-been knocking Nirvana, Led Zeppelin or any other legendary band off of any pedestal is at best a minor annoyance, on a par with toilet paper on the bottom of your shoe in a crowded bar, except for the fact that most people would overlook said ass-paper, yet I am forced to endure weather reports about this approaching douche-storm emailed to me by people who are furious about him. 

We saw these guys play Bowery Ballroom many years ago, they had the stage presence of a vaudevillian reunion show, and smelled about the same. This cat had makeup on and styled hair, and he was incredibly not cool. Our response was to drink 20 beers, which is, if not cool, at least understandable. 

Your ship has sailed, Flowers. Enjoy the adulation of thirty-something 'I'm still into what the kids are listening to!' expecting dads everywhere, that should be a sweet demographic to grow on. Shithead. 


Anonymous said...

Hey just proved Brandon's point. Brandon wasn't dissing the music of Nirvana or Zep, just myopic viewpoints of dolts like you. Carry on with your world famous blog though. I hope you sort through all these comments and take the opportunity to read mine and take it to heart.

Anonymous said...

One other thing. You just wrote an article on how Nirvana is "overrated". Cognitive dissonance anyone?

Anonymous said...

Bravo. The Killers are talent-less hacs. About time someone pointed this out. They are incredibly boring live. Their lyrics are embarrassing. Flowers needs to be smacked. Hey anon 11:20pm - if you look up douchebag in the dictionary they show a picture of Flowers.

Mark said...

I won't go so far as the brave "Anonymous" (congrats on getting hate from strangers, btw, shows you have arrived as a blogger), I have to say I've got no problems with Flower's comments. That may seem strange, considering that my own band formed as an afterthought from a daft-named Led Zeppelin tribute band called The Back Door Men. But ancestor-worship is a pretty stifling thing and deserves no place in Rock n' Roll.

If it's OK for Tad Kubler to give it to Radiohead, The Killers can dish it out all they want.

As far as their music goes, I gotta say: It's grown on me.